Former England captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to really process that at the moment," he said.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his present wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the condition worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters uniquely, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he continued.
First Signs
Moody found out he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a series of scans indicated nerves in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly very emotional about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel poorly
"My indications are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to doing whatever I want. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is possible."
Condition Progression
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the organization MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within 24 months of diagnosis, as eating and inhalation become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's the grief around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Household Impact
Conversing from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and began removing the drops off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody explained the emphasis was being in the moment.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be extremely intensely directed on just accepting and savoring each moment now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been really lucky that the sole choice I made when I left playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Sportsman Association
Top-level competitors are unevenly impacted by MND, with studies proposing the prevalence of the condition is up to sixfold greater than in the broader public.
It is believed that by limiting the oxygen available and creating damage to neural pathways, consistent, intense exercise can activate the illness in those previously predisposed.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his brave, persistent approach to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a workout scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a tackle pad and began engaging in collisions.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the line-out in the crucial moment of play, establishing a base for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop kick.
Assistance Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a couple of other previous colleagues about his medical situation, but the others will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that sort of affection and acceptance that people are present is all that matters," he said.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it ended now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your passion your vocation, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so long a period with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will desire to assist in any way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
